Mom & Dad skipped my Harvard graduation

Mom & Dad skipped my Harvard graduation.
Not because they didn't care.

Because something mattered more.

At the time, they were Jamati Kamadia
(Leaders of our Ismaili Muslim community).

The Aga Khan, our Imam, was coming to Vancouver for didar.
A once-in-decades audience.

You don't skip that to fly to Boston.

I totally understood:
They needed to be in Vancouver in the days before the didar.
I didn't...
I wanted to do both!

So I bought a late night flight.
Boston → Montreal → Vancouver.
75-minute layover.
I'd make it just in time for didar.
It would be insane.
But I could do it.

June 9th, 2005:

I graduated.
Rushed to the airport.
FLIGHT DELAY!!!
Landed in Montreal.
Cleared US immigration.
Collected every bag.
Rechecked every bag.
Bus between terminals.
Security again.
SPRINTED!!
Reached the gate sweaty. Out of breath.

Gate was closed.

But the plane to Vancouver was still right there!!
I begged to open the door - to let me on!
But they couldn't do it.
Policy.
Once the door closed...that's it.
I cried.
Missing the flight meant missing didar!

Then a passenger walked off sick.
The door HAD to open.

They let me on.

I made it.

I got everything I wanted that day.
Graduation AND Didar.
By what felt like divine intervention.

Meanwhile, Mom STILL feels bad about missing my graduation.
(a day I remember as PERFECT for the magical re-opening of that airplane door).

I hope what Mom feels is GRIEF.
Not GUILT.

Guilt is for when you hurt someone.
But she didn't hurt me.

She missed me.

And that? That grief?
That's the most loving thing in the world.

I love you too, Mom!