Breaking Free from External Validation
Alex P.
When Alex began coaching, he was caught in a cycle of seeking external validation, using others’ approval as the measure of his worth and success. This pattern left him stressed, disconnected, and trapped by self-doubt.
Over three months of coaching with Dr. Aliaa, Alex uncovered and transformed this deeply ingrained pattern, replacing it with self-trust and compassion.
Through practices of real-time awareness and self-inquiry, Alex gained clarity, confidence, and the tools to align his actions with his values.
Case Study
When Alex Perelman sought coaching, he was grappling with deeply entrenched patterns of seeking external approval. Despite being a successful software developer and startup founder, he felt trapped in cycles of stress, self-punishment, and disconnection.
“I was using others’ approval as the measuring stick for my success instead of sourcing it internally. It left me feeling disconnected from myself and overwhelmed by stress.”
The Problem
Alex’s challenges were rooted in his reliance on external validation, which created multiple stress points:
Seeking Approval: Alex prioritized others’ perceptions over his own instincts and values.
“I felt obligated to meet the expectations of my investors and team, even when it wasn’t what I genuinely wanted. It was like pushing a boulder uphill.”
Self-Punishment: This pattern of approval-seeking amplified his harsh inner critic, creating constant self-doubt and emotional exhaustion.
“I kept punishing myself and believing I had to suffer to stay strong.”
Disconnect: Overthinking and guilt left Alex paralyzed, unable to trust his intuition or align his actions with his deeper values.
The Solution
Through coaching, Alex was able to identify, understand, and transform his patterns of external validation into internal self-trust and compassion.
Uncovering Patterns: Alex traced the roots of his approval-seeking tendencies to childhood experiences of needing to strive for love and attention. By identifying this “love-seeking machine,” he could observe it without being consumed by it.
“Naming my inner love-seeking machine was the first step. It allowed me to separate myself from it and start observing the pattern instead of being controlled by it.”
Rewriting the Inner Narrative: A pivotal breakthrough came when Alex realized he had been focusing his compassion outward while neglecting himself. Turning that kindness inward shifted his entire mindset.
“I realized love isn’t just something I radiate outward—it has to be directed inward, too. That was a huge unlock for me.”
Building Real-Time Awareness: Through practices like naming successes and noticing his reactions in the moment, Alex developed the ability to respond to challenges with intention rather than reacting automatically.
“I’ve gotten better at catching my reactions as they happen. That awareness gives me the choice to act differently.
The Results
Freedom from External Validation: Alex shifted from seeking approval to trusting his inner compass, allowing him to act with clarity and confidence.
“I trust myself now. I don’t need to rely on others’ approval to feel like I’m on the right track.”
Improved Inner Dialogue: Alex replaced self-puniself-compassion, fundamentally changing how he related to himself.
“The biggest change is how I talk to myself now. I lead with kindness instead of criticism.”
Clarity and Alignment: By breaking free from external expect gained clarity on his values and began aligning his actions with them.
Who This Coaching is For
This coaching is ideal for high-achieving professionals who:
Feel trapped in cycles of seeking external validation.
Struggle with self-doubt and harsh self-criticism.
Want to develop self-awareness and act with confidence and alignment.
“If you constantly feel like your worth is tied to others’ opinions, this coaching will help you reconnect with yourself and build a foundation of self-trust.”
Alex’s Perspective
“Working with Aliaa helped me uncover patterns I didn’t even realize were holding me back. Naming and observing the love-seeking machine allowed me to start reclaiming my confidence and trust in myself. I’ve shifted from relying on external approval to leading with clarity and alignment. This work was transformative—it’s not just about solving problems, but about truly changing how I relate to myself and the world.”